One of the things each of us wants… is to be validated…
to be seen…
to be heard…
to be understood…
to be accepted…
essentially…in a word…to be noticed. And when this is not happening in one’s life…at least to some minimal extent…life can become sad and lonely…sometimes pretty quickly…sometimes slowly and almost imperceptably. And when this is not happening during a conversation with someone… especially a conversation in which one or the other thinks that their particular point or thought is important…the result is often frustrated, and even angry, defensiveness…which leads to… yup… you guessed right… an arguement. Understanding this process…and then understanding how we tend to get very bogged down in…agreeing or disagreeing…(which usually precipitates very dissatisfying results in the discussion)…and finally beginning to purposefully notice…or validate…the other person…will produce profoundly different…positive… outcomes.
Try it…you’ll like it…
To be continued…
Filed under: acceptance, conflict management, personal communication, personal relationships, self help | Tagged: acceptance, Acknowledgement, Active Listening, personal communication, Understanding
